• Home
  • About
    • About Treefall Writing
    • About Melinda Tognini
    • Comments Policy
  • My Books
    • Many Hearts, One Voice
    • Tales From Our Home
    • Other Publications
  • Writing Comps & Opportunities
    • Opportunities for Young Writers
    • Writing Opportunities for All
  • Work with Me
    • Workshops
    • Mentoring & critiquing
    • Oral history
    • Working in schools
  • Blog
    • Reading
    • Writing
    • Family history
    • Young writers
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • About Treefall Writing
    • About Melinda Tognini
    • Comments Policy
  • My Books
    • Many Hearts, One Voice
    • Tales From Our Home
    • Other Publications
  • Writing Comps & Opportunities
    • Opportunities for Young Writers
    • Writing Opportunities for All
  • Work with Me
    • Workshops
    • Mentoring & critiquing
    • Oral history
    • Working in schools
  • Blog
    • Reading
    • Writing
    • Family history
    • Young writers
  • Contact
scroll down for more
Stories that matter

It’s Not All About You (or Me)

Melinda Tognini March 14, 2020 8 Comments

If we were to believe social media, it would be easy to think we need to choose either panic or denial in response to the reported risks of COVID-19.

Rush to the shops and stock up for doomsday, or proceed as if it should be business as usual. I confess I’d been wondering if too much fuss was being made about something that was likely to make me less sick than the flu. I’m in a pretty low-risk group, so that chances are that if I do happen to catch the coronavirus, I’ll have pretty mild symptoms.

I’ve already joked that I’m happy to find any excuse to self-isolate so I can catch up on my ever-growing TBR pile. Jokes aside, I don’t really want to get sick, regardless of how mild or serious the symptoms.

Believe it or not, though, it’s not all about me …

When my daughter was small, especially prior to her open-heart surgery to correct the heart defects she was born with, we had to be super careful. A simple cold could quickly develop into a chest infection, which could potentially deteriorate into a life-threatening heart infection.

My daughter a few months after her open-heart surgery.
My daughter a few months after her open-heart surgery.

People who knew us became very good at letting us know their child ‘just had a cold’ or was ‘probably just teething’, but instead of keeping their children isolated, it was up to us to decide to stay home to protect our daughter. For many children, colds helps build their immune system; for our’s it could have been a matter of life and death.

Now she’s older, we’re fortunate to be able to treat her largely like any other teenager; however, there are many other children, young people and even adults, who do have to be extra vigilant. One of my daughter’s friends is currently awaiting heart surgery, and another has cystic fibrosis, as does a fellow writer I know. One friend has severe asthma and other chronic health issues. My grandfather, who will turn 97 in a few months, is also in a high-risk category. For all of them, contracting the coronavirus could make them seriously ill, or even endanger their life.

Image is of a child with a bald head sitting up in a hospital bed and smiling at the camera
Not everyone is able to fight off a virus like COVID-19. [Photo credit: National Cancer Institute on Unsplash].
But you know what? It shouldn’t matter that this is close to home for me. I should care about those who are at high risk, regardless of whether they are known to me.

So, whether we’re rushing to the shops in the hope of finding the paper gold that is a toilet roll, or going about our daily life as if nothing has changed, they are two sides of the same self-interest coin: it’s all about me and my own comfort.

But there is another way.

The way of kindness and generosity.

And I’ve seen it already.

Earlier in the week I heard the story of a mother and daughter who joined the crowd hurrying into the supermarket first thing one morning. Making a beeline for the toilet paper aisle, they pulled a number of packs into their trolley. However, instead of making a dash for the checkout, they waited, aware the elderly couldn’t match the speed of other customers. As the oldies reached the now empty shelves, the women handed out the packets in their trolley.

Still on the subject of bog rolls, one of my neighbours posted a message in our street group chat to say she’d accidentally ordered too much from Who Gives a Crap (I call it accidental good planning), and so offered it to anyone who might run out.

Someone else has posted a message on social media, encouraging anyone who’s bought tickets for cancelled concerts and theatre performances, to consider donating the cost of the ticket rather than requesting a refund, because for many creatives, these cancellations will cost them not only their income for the foreseeable future, but perhaps send them into debt.

Further afield, people all over Italy have been stepping out on to their balconies at a specified time in order to sing, dance and play music together, despite their enforced quarantine.

Right now, we have a choice.

Instead of hoarding more than we need, we can share with those around us who are less mobile, or less able to afford to buy in bulk.

Instead of self-interest, we can choose community and connectedness, ensuring any self-isolation doesn’t result in social isolation.

Instead of continuing on as usual, for our own convenience, we can choose to self-isolate if necessary, to protect the health of someone else—even a stranger. There’s a useful graph which is currently making the rounds, and explains that our being overly cautious now will flatten out the curve of those needing medical care at any one time. This will in turn help hospitals and medical professionals cope with the load and be able to offer adequate medical care to all who need it.

We can be prepared but not panic.

And we can be kind.

Regardless of what the world—and social media—tries to tell you, kindness always matters.

And remember: it’s not all about you (or me).

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Previous Creative Prompts #8: Marching On
Next The Arts Matter—And They’re Here for You
Melinda Tognini

story-gatherer & mentor

Related Posts
The Distance Between Dreams: In Conversation with Emily Paull March 31, 2025
6 Degrees of Separation: From Orbital to Imperfect January 4, 2025
Reflect. Simplify. Create: In Conversation with Amanda Viviers December 31, 2024

8 Comments

  1. Maureen Helen says:
    March 15, 2020 at 8:14 am

    Thank you for this post, Melinda. The world has become a different place over the last few months and we need good sense, generosity and kindness to ease our collective way to what is to come.

    Reply
    1. Melinda Tognini says:
      March 15, 2020 at 8:24 am

      We definitely do. It’s so good to see stories of generosity and kindness emerging. Maybe we need to start a database of these stories to help us to remember this. x

      Reply
  2. Lily Malone says:
    March 15, 2020 at 9:28 am

    Lovely post, Melinda.

    Reply
    1. Melinda Tognini says:
      March 15, 2020 at 9:33 am

      Thanks, Lily. xx

      Reply
  3. Elaine Fraser says:
    March 15, 2020 at 1:19 pm

    A great perspective, Melinda. Our local store has been putting aside toilet rolls etc and keeping them for elderly or people with a disability. Such a kind act. There’s two mentalities out there–one is to grab everything they can for themselves and the other is to share and care for others in the community. I guess there’s a few in the middle as well. Erring on the community first side is always a good thing. xxx

    Reply
    1. Melinda Tognini says:
      March 15, 2020 at 1:44 pm

      Love hearing the story about your local store, Elaine. Thanks for sharing it. xx

      Reply
  4. Mary says:
    March 17, 2020 at 2:15 pm

    Beautiful post I wish you and your family health and happines, You sound a beautiful caring person.💗💕

    Reply
    1. Melinda Tognini says:
      March 17, 2020 at 2:48 pm

      Thank you. I hope the same for you and your family, too. x

      Reply

Your comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Newsletter Signup

Sign up here to receive regular writing resources, research tips and creative prompts, as well as reading recommendations and MAD links.

 

Please wait...

Thank you for signing up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Privacy

Read my full privacy policy here , but essentially I promise to keep your information confidential and not pass on your details to any 3rd parties. Ever.

Blog Categories

  • Reading
    • Reading recommendations
    • 6 Degrees of Separation
    • Stories that matter
    • My story
    • Five Faves
    • Reading
  • Writing
    • Writing
    • Writing prompts
    • Writing quotes
    • Writing resources
    • Creating space for your story
    • Family History
    • Young Writers

What I’m Reading

goodreads

Australian Society of Authors

asa_logo_col

Latest Comments

Apologies for the late reply! I shall go check out your post - even the title is intriguing!
In 6 Degrees of Separation: From Orbital to Imperfect
I haven't read any of the books on your chain (though am reading Orbital currently) but love the clever links... And now adding Writer Laid Bare to my TBR.. my post is here - https://www.ladyinreadwrites.com/two-roads-diverged-in-the-words-with-trivia-twists-too/
In 6 Degrees of Separation: From Orbital to Imperfect
You're welcome! Thank you for being so generous with your time in answering my questions as well as all the incredible work encouraging creatives everywhere!
In Reflect. Simplify. Create: In Conversation with Amanda Viviers

Recent Posts

  • The Distance Between Dreams: In Conversation with Emily Paull
  • Creative Writing Prompts: April
  • Creative Writing Prompts: February
  • 6 Degrees of Separation: From Dangerous Liaisons to My Place
  • Creative Writing Prompts: January
  • 6 Degrees of Separation: From Orbital to Imperfect
Melinda Tognini (c) 2023 | Site by ICTECH