Have you thought about compiling a family history but don’t know where to start?
Writers are often advised to write what they know or are curious about.
Not everyone agrees with this, but perhaps there’s some wisdom in it, or in the case of family history, start with yourself (the person in your family tree you know best) and work backwards.
You’ll be surprised at how much information you’ll uncover – you probably know more than you realise, even before you start searching online databases or visiting libraries, state records offices and national archives for documents, which can seem elusive at times.
The Story Starts with You
Even though your knowledge of your ancestors may range from incomplete to scant to almost non-existent, you can change that for future generations by leaving a record of your own life.
“But my family isn’t interested,” is a comment I hear regularly when I run memoir and family history workshops. And I understand that – I wasn’t interested in my family history until I was in my late-thirties, and by then I’d lost three of my four grandparents, thus missing the opportunity to talk to them. So, if my experience is anything to go by, even if nobody seems interested now, they very likely will be down the track.
You could record your life by writing it down, or by engaging the services of someone who could interview and record your stories, or even by creating a series of photo albums that capture some of the people and events throughout your life. (Look out for future blog posts where I’ll create some prompts to get you started.)
Memories of Previous Generations
While dates, documentary evidence and other verifiable information is important when it comes to family history, it’s not everything and often fails to convey the personality, motivations and humanity of an individual and their lived experience.
But most people have at least some memories of the previous generation or two. For example, growing up, I was fortunate enough to know all four of my grandparents, only losing the first of them the year my son was born. I also have a few memories of two great grandmothers, although I was still a child when they died. In addition, I have heard stories about them from my grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles. They are subjective, of course, and need to be considered alongside other verifiable evidence, but it is still worth capturing.
A few years before he died, my grandfather – at the request of my aunt – wrote down what he knew about our family history. It was a mix of information from family trees, letters, journals and artwork from previous generations combined with his own memories. Even though further research has revealed several factual errors that need correcting, this was such a gift not only to his children and grandchildren but to future generations too.
Oral Histories with the Living
Although professional oral historians and podcasters have all sorts of fancy equipment that improves the sound and archival quality of any recording, I would also suggest that the best piece of equipment is the one that you have with you and can use – for example, a recording app on your phone.
Family Archives
You will be surprised how much archival material you will find in the cupboards of your relatives. It might be a birth or death certificate, letters to or from loved ones, diaries, newspaper clippings, a sketch book, a family diary or other ephemera such as a Christening gown.
The most valuable documents and archival material may be right at your fingertips if you just ask. Even if you only uncover a few items, it will offer valuable clues as to your ancestry and family’s history, even before you start searching in online databases such as FamilySearch and Ancestry.com, or begin paying for birth, marriage and death certificates. And sometimes people have no idea of exactly what valuable clues to the past they have until they’re encouraged to start looking.
For example, my grandfather knew that his father had kept a diary during the First World War but believed that his aunt had destroyed them. However, while going through a box of other keepsakes, he discovered a copy of the diary, which my grandfather had typed up in 1933.
Family Photos
Instead, I tossed them all into a plastic box (not yet knowing anything about archiving photos safely). By the time my mother and I looked at them several years later, my grandmother had passed away and we couldn’t identify most of the people in the photos.
If I’d had my time again, I’d have asked Nanna more questions, about who the people were and what she remembered about them. And I’d make notes!
In contrast, one war widow I interviewed for my book Many Hearts, One Voice had several photo albums she shared with me, with each photo – or series of photos – sparking memories of the past, including her husband’s war service and their courtship.
Objects
Many objects in our home, or the home of relatives, have personal significance, even if they are not monetarily valuable and will never feature on an episode of Antiques Roadshow. But the stories behind them – their provenance – can spark memory and connection.
A couple of years before my grandfather died, we spent a couple of afternoons walking around his apartment, and I simply asked him for the story behind the many objects he owned. These included paintings on walls, pieces of furniture, knick-knacks on shelves and even some vases that looked old. Not only did I learn what each of the items meant to my grandfather, but it sparked his memory about the events and people connected to that object.
Remember to Take Care of Yourself
Of course, not everything we dig up will be happy memories or in the context of nurturing relationships. Some of what In all of this, take care and be gentle with yourself. If necessary, choose not to revisit anything that is painful or confronting.
Over to You
Where will you start – or reconnect with – your family history?
