Today I witnessed name calling, put downs, blaming, snide remarks, interrupting and petty bickering. As a parent, I’d be horrified if one of my children was subjected to such behaviour. I’d be even more mortified if I discovered they had been the perpetrator.
Only I wasn’t in the schoolyard.
I was watching Parliamentary Question Time.
The difference between Question Time and the playground is that our children still need guidance, training and correction. Our politicians – the men and women who are supposedly leading our country – should know better.
Is it any wonder that our children bully and are bullied when they watch adults participating in it constantly – not only in parliament, but at home, at work, on television and on line?
As someone who was regularly bullied at school, I know the long term damage such ongoing negativity can have. Fortunately in the years since, I’ve also experienced the positive impact of encouragement, understanding and simple kindness. What a different society ours would be if instead of disparaging others, we sought ways to support, encourage and thank them.
As someone quoted on twitter this week:
Become friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow.
And Steven R. Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, writes:
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
So, I wish to start an alternative Question Time. One in which we pose questions that enable us to ‘listen with the intent to understand’, rather than making a comment designed to silence or demean. In particular, I’d love hear the stories of those whose actions have gone unnoticed but deserve our acknowledgement and recognition.
Over to You
Who would you like to thank or encourage and why?
What question might you ask them that seeks to better understand their journey or perspective on life?
I would like to thank the people who teach our children, who work in the front office, who run the P&C, who maintain the school yards and get the balls off the roof and those who work long hours in childcare. I want to know where they find the patience to keep returning to school every day to face a room of other people’s kids, when I have days when I try to drop my kids off early so I can have a moments peace… Do they experience a joy that I am missing?
Hi, Shannon. I was initially unsure whether to respond to your comment, as I didn’t just want to ‘listen with the intent to reply’! But I did want to acknowledge your contribution to this discussion. You have certainly mentioned people who do so much for us, and whose work is often taken for granted. I, for one, will certainly be looking for ways to express my appreciation to them now.
I like to encourage my children, first and foremost, but also I love to encourage anyone I encounter. I would ask anyone what they wish to do with their life, and again, encourage them to follow their dreams.
Your questions are difficult to answer, because what you ask is like breathing to me. I thank, I encourage, I strive… all often without thought.
Ugh. And I hesitate to hit the reply button because all of the above fails to reflect how humble I am.
Thank you for the follow. I hope you’ll see from my blog that I am genuine.
Thanks for taking the time to read my post and comment. I am looking forward to reading more on your blog, too.