• Home
  • About
    • About Treefall Writing
    • About Melinda Tognini
    • Comments Policy
  • My Books
    • Many Hearts, One Voice
    • Tales From Our Home
    • Other Publications
  • Writing Comps & Opportunities
    • Opportunities for Young Writers
    • Writing Opportunities for All
  • Work with Me
    • Workshops
    • Mentoring & critiquing
    • Oral history
    • Working in schools
  • Blog
    • Reading
    • Writing
    • Family history
    • Young writers
  • Contact
  • Home
  • About
    • About Treefall Writing
    • About Melinda Tognini
    • Comments Policy
  • My Books
    • Many Hearts, One Voice
    • Tales From Our Home
    • Other Publications
  • Writing Comps & Opportunities
    • Opportunities for Young Writers
    • Writing Opportunities for All
  • Work with Me
    • Workshops
    • Mentoring & critiquing
    • Oral history
    • Working in schools
  • Blog
    • Reading
    • Writing
    • Family history
    • Young writers
  • Contact
scroll down for more
Writing

Falling in Love (with Writing) Again

Melinda Tognini July 5, 2018 8 Comments

For the past three years, I’ve been taking art classes and learning the piano. The piano is an instrument I always wanted to play, but never did as a kid. And I hadn’t drawn or painted since year 9, when I concluded I couldn’t even draw decent stick figures. So, I’m a complete beginner in both creative pursuits.

(Photo by Elijah M. Henderson on Unsplash)
(Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash)

While I experience (frequently) the frustration of being a beginner, I have no expectation I’ll ever play in front of a crowd or exhibit at a gallery. I’m primarily learning for the joy of developing skills where there were none before, of tapping into the creative process without worrying about the end result. In many ways, the pressure’s off.

I used to feel the same way about writing. I’ve been creating stories ever since my teachers first showed me how to use a pencil to mark words on a page. Back then, I wrote to give voice to the worlds and characters inside my head, the way authors like E. B. White and Enid Blyton did in the books I loved to read. I wrote because that was my creative art form of choice.

Years later, I drafted a young adult novel, and began to dream of being published. I submitted it to six publishers – and received six rejections. I picked myself up and kept writing.

Writing and not writing

I took six months long service leave from my job as an English teacher, determined to finish reworking my novel before my second child was born. I wrote every day during my firstborn’s afternoon nap, whether I felt like it or not; I didn’t have the luxury of waiting for inspiration.

Then, as I’ve mentioned in much earlier posts, a routine ultrasound revealed our unborn daughter had complex and life-threatening heart defects. In preparing for the road ahead, I now gave myself permission not to write for at least six months after she was born, so I could focus solely on the role of mothering a seriously ill child.

This I did. However, just before my self-imposed sabbatical was up, I was offered an opportunity to write a short piece about our experience. So, I sat down at my desk for the first time in months, and began to write. In doing so, something came alive in me. I knew in that moment that writing was a core part of who I was; writing was that one thing I couldn’t give up.

I realised I write because I cannot NOT write.

But in recent years, something in me has forgotten that.

Forgotten to write simply for the love of throwing down words on a page. Forgotten to value the process of it, without worrying about the end result. Forgotten – in the words of Julia Cameron – to turn up to the page and trust that a piece of work will eventually find its place in the world.

Instead, I’ve been feeling the pressure of producing my next book because it’s almost three years since my first was published (no, not that YA novel, which still sits on a shelf in my study). Without wanting to, I find I’m comparing myself to other authors who publish a book a year, or have a huge social media following, or have simply written a blog post about something I too have been reflecting on – only theirs is far more entertaining and eloquent.

All this plays on the idea of deficit instead of strength, the idea that there’s only so much to go around, that we are necessarily in competition with each other, that someone else’s success means I’m more likely to falter.

This comparison serves no constructive purpose. It causes me to wonder why I bother. It hinders creativity and damages the love affair I’ve had with words and stories my whole life. And it steals the courage needed to speak out my truth about the issues and subjects important to me.

Creating margin

So, this morning, I gave myself permission not to write. To just read and consider what it is I believe and want to say.

Without the pressure to produce something.

Without the pressure to say something of significance.

Without worrying about what someone else might think or say or troll.

Without worrying about whether someone else has already written it more eloquently or provocatively.

I gave myself permission to reflect and respond rather than be pushed into giving a reaction. To create space and margin before I rush to the page.

With the pressure off, it didn’t take long before my mind was full of thoughts and ideas. And I couldn’t wait to reach for my journal to scribble them down.

(Photo by David Iskander on Unsplash)

I was working out what I wanted to say instead of what I imagined was acceptable for others to hear. I realised there’s actually a lot I want to say, many stories I believe are worth telling.

I’ll share some of them here one day, once I’ve worked them through enough in my head and on the page to write honestly about them.

In the meantime, I’m determined to fall in love (again) with the process of creating in all its messy, tangled glory.

(Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash)

 

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Previous Writing Competitions for Young Writers in Australia: July to December 2018
Next 6 Degrees of Separation: From Tales of the City to A Wrinkle in Time
Melinda Tognini

story-gatherer & mentor

Related Posts
Creative Writing Prompts: April March 31, 2025
Creative Writing Prompts: February February 4, 2025
Creative Writing Prompts: January January 7, 2025

8 Comments

  1. LIly Malone says:
    July 5, 2018 at 6:09 pm

    Good job. I love your work here on the blog and whatever/wherever/whenever.

    Reply
    1. Melinda Tognini says:
      July 5, 2018 at 6:20 pm

      Thanks so much, Lily – as always, I really appreciate your support and encouragement.

      Reply
  2. Louise Allan says:
    July 5, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    This is such a good post and I totally relate. Thank you for giving yourself permission to just be you on the page—you’ve got a lot to say and I want to read it!

    Reply
    1. Melinda Tognini says:
      July 5, 2018 at 6:51 pm

      Thanks, Louise – so glad you can relate. And I have to credit you with pushing me to think about what it is I’ve got to say – and encouraging me to say it. So a double thanks to you!

      Reply
  3. Holden Sheppard says:
    July 5, 2018 at 10:55 pm

    Melinda, thanks for writing and sharing this. I related so much to it, especially re: the needing to write, and also the paralysing pressure of expectation rather than writing for the joy and trusting the process. I also never knew some of these aspects of your backstory so it was cool to learn more about you.

    It sounds like you’ve got yourself back to a fantastic headspace, so good luck with writing freely with all the permission you’ve given yourself. ??

    Reply
    1. Melinda Tognini says:
      July 6, 2018 at 6:14 am

      I suspect that struggle between the paralysing pressure and the freer headspace will be an ongoing tug-of-war that I regularly need to recalibrate, but it’s certainly nice when I can give myself permission to enjoy it – and listen to that voice! Thanks for the continuing support – and for the words of insight (and often humour) on your own blog.

      Reply
  4. Susan Dunn says:
    December 30, 2018 at 12:48 am

    I enjoyed reading about giving yourself permission to write and to not write. I relate to the struggle about having something worthwhile to say.
    It’s a long road, learning how to be a writer.
    Thank you for sharing so openly.

    Reply
    1. Melinda Tognini says:
      December 30, 2018 at 6:33 am

      It is certainly a long road, Susan, but I hope you will stay on it. It’s so easy to contemplate giving it all away, and I also think maybe I need to re-read my post and take my own advice.

      Reply

Your comment Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Newsletter Signup

Sign up here to receive regular writing resources, research tips and creative prompts, as well as reading recommendations and MAD links.

 

Please wait...

Thank you for signing up!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Privacy

Read my full privacy policy here , but essentially I promise to keep your information confidential and not pass on your details to any 3rd parties. Ever.

Blog Categories

  • Reading
    • Reading recommendations
    • 6 Degrees of Separation
    • Stories that matter
    • My story
    • Five Faves
    • Reading
  • Writing
    • Writing
    • Writing prompts
    • Writing quotes
    • Writing resources
    • Creating space for your story
    • Family History
    • Young Writers

What I’m Reading

goodreads

Australian Society of Authors

asa_logo_col

Latest Comments

Apologies for the late reply! I shall go check out your post - even the title is intriguing!
In 6 Degrees of Separation: From Orbital to Imperfect
I haven't read any of the books on your chain (though am reading Orbital currently) but love the clever links... And now adding Writer Laid Bare to my TBR.. my post is here - https://www.ladyinreadwrites.com/two-roads-diverged-in-the-words-with-trivia-twists-too/
In 6 Degrees of Separation: From Orbital to Imperfect
You're welcome! Thank you for being so generous with your time in answering my questions as well as all the incredible work encouraging creatives everywhere!
In Reflect. Simplify. Create: In Conversation with Amanda Viviers

Recent Posts

  • The Distance Between Dreams: In Conversation with Emily Paull
  • Creative Writing Prompts: April
  • Creative Writing Prompts: February
  • 6 Degrees of Separation: From Dangerous Liaisons to My Place
  • Creative Writing Prompts: January
  • 6 Degrees of Separation: From Orbital to Imperfect
Melinda Tognini (c) 2023 | Site by ICTECH